Devika Bhushan was beautiful. Of course, being a modest and pessimistic person, she's always rejected this statement. The way she walks the hall with such grace, the way she talks with certain knowledge of the subject, her lovely speaking voice (speaking voice, mind you), and especially the way her eyes shine with the combination of natural eye fluid, artificial vinegar-y eye fluid, and her contact lenses. The way she dresses, well, she's got nearly every guy in the school hooked on her! (Except Alex Williamson, who was hooked on someone else.) Not knowingly, everytime she walks the halls, every guy stares at her longingly, but she takes no notice of that. No, she was too busy doing something else. Something more important. Something like complaining about the digitally-challenged Starworld Channel who has messed up the transmision when Buffy was on. "I am your shrink!" exclaimed Asti, who happened to be walking the halls with her before the bell rang signalling another day in the juvenile reppression center. "Tell me your problem and I will make them go away!" "I am telling you my problem, nimrod" snapped Devika. "Step on me!" Asti screams with vigor, ignoring her friend. "I go 'squish'!" And she did step on her. And she did go 'squish'. "Noooooooooooo!!!!!" hollered a faraway voice getting closer and closer. Pounding feet could be heard heading in Devika's direction. Naturally, everybody turned to look at who was making the racket. "Shaddup, you freak!" commented a random eighth-grader. The 'freak' kept on running, taking no mind of any stares or requests to lower his vocal volume. This was Alex Williamson, who was mentioned earlier. He knelt beside Asti's broken body and the grief overwhelmed him. "Noooooooooo!!! How could you kill her!!! She was so young! My love?" Tatiana stood up. "I thought you liked me!" Alex paused in the middle of his cries of torture, looked at Tatiana, shuddered in horror, and said "Eewww!!" Tatiana pouted, called him something that would never appear in a Sesame Street episode, and pranced off to spread rumours about this event to her acquintances. Alex continued his mourning. "Without realizing it, you have killed the very epitomy of my being! Or did you know it? If you did then why?! What has this gentle soul done to-" The random eighth-grader threw his algebra textbook at Alex, hoping it will keep him quiet. The textbook hit his skull, there was a loud 'crack' sound, and he fell down face-first, death on his face. Coincidentally, the back of his t-shirt proclaimed: "Hit me with an algebra textbook, I go 'crack'." Nobody uttered so much as a cry of horror to the dead bodies (except for Alex, but he's one of the dead bodies now). After they found the dead bodies of Mr. Farwell and Mr. Piscioneri covered with knife wounds in the utility closet a week ago with a note pinned on them saying 'MUN is hell, and that's where you're going, you merciless slavedrivers!', death no longer excited anybody. Elisah wandered up to Devika with a grin on her face. "Did someone, like, kill them?" she grinned. "Yes, someone did." "That's so cool," she grinned. "I think so too." "So you're, like, not too upset that your friend's, like, dead?" she grinned. "Of course I'm upset. Now I'd have to watch Buffy all by myself." Elisah grinned. "That sucks." "I know." "Well, like, see ya'!" And Elisah walked off to join her cronies. Devika rolled her eyes. "What an idiot. She believed that? Of course this death means much more to me than Buffy! " So she started for the bathroom to cry in private, but halfway there, she couldn't hold it and bawled loudly in front of Mrs. Hintz A/A classroom. "Shaddup, you freak!" commented the random eighth-grader who yelled the exact same thing at the late Alex Williamson. "Devika?" She whirled around and found herself looking into John Michael's concerned eyes. Well, first she whirled around and found herself looking at the top of his head, but then she looked a little lower. "Yes?" "Are you all right?" "No." "What's wrong?" "I forgot." "What a pity," he commented. "Indeed," agreed Devika. Silence. I mean, silence between the two. The hallway was teeming with noise, and the fact that people were seeing and cheering on how many brownies Andrew Quisumbing can consume before puking did nothing to help. Neither did the fact that Izzy de la Torre has discovered her hidden talent for flying and was now flying around the halls like a B52 bomber and yelling comments on kicking Amelia Earhart's butt. "Umm? Devika?" "Yes?" "About the dance?" "Yes," Devika leaned forward expectantly. "Do you have a date?" he asked, shuffling his feet. "No!" exclaimed Devika in jubilation. "You don't?" he said, raising his eyebrows. "That's good, 'cause Ryan wants you for his date!" Devika's eyes bulged out. She took a deep breath. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! NEEVEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" "Shaddup, you freak!" commented the random eighth-grader who had yelled at her earlier. Ryan waltzed up to her, wearing a tuxedo, carrying a gold-topped cane, and a bouquet of roses. "Devikaaa!!! Will you-" "NO!" Devika shrieked. She stuffed the roses up his nose and whacked him sixty-seven times with his gold-topped cane. Needless to say, Ryan needed to be hospitalized and will not be appearing in this chronicle any longer except to say the line: "I'm suing!" The paramedics arrived on the spot, put Ryan on a stretcher, and jiggled him downstairs. "I'm suing!" he yelled. "And he's gone!" Sareena exclaimed in joy. She, Rishi, Maera, and Hana began to do the happy jig. "He's hospitalized!" John Michael exclaimed. "Wow! Somebody got hospitalized!" "GOOD RIDDANCE!" hollered Devika, still not getting over the fact that Ryan had the nerve, the utter stupidity to think she would?. Urgh, she can't even say it. "Hey Dev, do you want to go with me?" Devika smiled. "Yes! Yes! Thank you!" "Okay!" And they started doing the happy jig along with the rest of the happy jiggers. They stepped a couple of times on the dead bodies of Alex and Asti. They paused to wonder why the paramedics overlooked such obvious evidence on the floor. "People are idiots," Sareena said with conviction. The others thought this must be so and continued with the happy jig. What happened at the party? Can't rightly say. John Michael and Devika were too busy with each other to really notice what's going on and give this Author the materials to write a narrative. Sure, the author heard a bunch of stuff on how wonderful the other is. They danced, they ate, they talked, and found out things they never knew before. It was wonderful, they commented. The Author thought it was too sappy for her own good so she threw them out of her writing studio. The Monday after the party in humanities was not? usual. As soon as Devika walked in, the class burst into unidentifiable noise. "Yay, Devika! She's going out with John Michael!" "Who's John Michael?" "Congratulations, Devika!" "Devika, looks like yoh life is as useful and economical as toilet papeh!" "Douglas Adams truly has blessed you!" "And Gordon Korman too!" "Hey!" Devika exclaimed. "I thought Asti was dead." "She is," Margaret said. "I said that." "Oh." "Devika's on her way to Bobo-math!" "Hehehehehe?" "Margaret, I thought you said Asti was dead," Devika commented. "She is," Andrew said. "That was me." "Oh." And that's when the class once more broke into a cacophony of clapping, snapping, stomping, trumpeting, fluting, clarineting, maraccaing noise of voices, Mrs. Olson, and confetti. Mrs. Olson lead the chorus of the Bee Gees' 'Stayin' Alive'. Devika didn't know what to make of the party, so she made her way somewhat dazed to her table and put down her binder. "So you're going out with John Michael," said a voice so cold, so deadpan, it nearly made her bleed. Devika snapped up her head and looked at eyes that Tae-Yeoun would describe as 'ridiculous' and 'Constantine-like', but now only looked cold, distant, ? and desperately trying to hide something that had caused him some emotional agony. "Eric." "So, are you?" "Are they?" Allison hollered over the class' version of 'I'm too Sexy'. "You should've seen them in A/A!" Now that she thought of it, she didn't hear Eric's voice greet her with a comment when she walked in to class earlier. "Yes," she answered, hesitatingly. What was she supposed to say but the truth? He normally didn't act like this, and it was making her edgy. Eric snorted and laughed. It was not a laugh of mirth or rejoicing. His laugh was one of emptiness, of hollowness, and, for some reason, of loss. He turned away after giving Devika a wry look. "Never thought you had it in you." He walked off to his seat and began doodling more silly cartoons on his Islam folder, leaving Devika feeling like she's done something horribly wrong. The event was soon shoved back into the farther recesses of her subconscious when Mrs. Olson brought out her secret stash of champage from her filing cabinet. In five minutes, the whole class (except Eric) was covered in champagne foam and very drunk. The happy relationship lasted all throughout the year. Devika felt like celebrating everyday. Margaret, Bei Xian, Sara, and Tae Yeoun also celebrated. Not everyday, but long enough. Why? Because Eric had shut up. No longer does he make funny comments, no longer does he act like a loudmouth, no longer does he act like like a know-it-all, no longer does he grapple for the center of attention! Now he just flunks his way through Advanced Humanities, give people very dark looks, neglected his friends, and basically a loner. With him losing the title of 'Class' Funniest', Asti would've gotten the part, but she was dead and gone and enjoying the afterlife with Alex. So now the contest was between Soong, Allison, Andrew, and Lavan. In fact, they tried so hard that nothing really ever got done in humanities Everybody was too busy laughing at their desperate jokes. Tae Yeoun and Bei Xian were gasping for breath and giggling at the same time. Margaret and Erika were down on the floor, laughing like hyenas. Kevin, Nicole, Sanaa, and Stephanie sat at their table and roaring hysterically with laughter as Lavan, Allison, Andrew, and Soong fed them joke after joke after joke. Even Mrs. Olson was in stitches. She fell off her swivel chair, dislocated her hip, but was still laughing laughing laughing. Devika was only smiling, since she was too sleepy to really understand the jokes. Yesterday she stayed up all night talking to John Michael on the telephone. "What are you doing up on the phone?" asked her groggy father when he went down to get a glass of water. "Ummm? it's for school. I'm the head of the library club and we're thinking of a 24-hour opening time for the library seven days a week, so I'm practicing that!" "Ah." She began to focus on the clock, tuning out the jokes. They only came to her in fragments now, the jokes. "And Clinton said?" "The devil took out a bundle of cash?" "Saddam had in his pocket an I.D.?" "And the guy said after seeing this?" "?and the guy started murdering?" "?out came the Nazis, breaking all Hell?" "?who really turned out to be?" "?heaven, then I'm going to?" The long hand moved forward! Wow! Yes! This was cool. Devika never realized that watching the clock had been so much fun. Wait. Pause. What was that? She felt shivers go down her spine. Somebody was watching her. She turned around. Eric. Eric had his dark eyes focused on her, as if memorizing every hair on her head, every muscle in her body. When she turned around, he shifted his attention quickly to the book he was reading, but he was not fast enough. Devika saw he had been looking at her, but why? What for? Shaking off the experience, she returned to her book, but the bell rang, signalling the end of class. Stuffing her books, into her bag, she dashed out of the room. "Going to see John Michael, Devika?" Eric called after her, but he got no answer. Devika was, in fact, hurrying to her car, since today was Friday and heck, who don't want to rush out of school on a Friday? She was stopped, however, by John Michael. She gave him a quick kiss. "What is it?" she asked expectantly. When she noticed that his smile was a troubled smile, a smile of both the rain and sun. "What's wrong?" "You'll see," he said, still wearing that smile. He pulled at her hand and ran towards the field. Devika dropped her bag and binder and followed. "What? What is it?" she asked, with a smile. "You'll see!" They ran across the blistering dust bowl, somehow managing to avoid the soccer balls that were flying around. (It was all over the news last night, did you see? By some unexplainable force, all the soccer balls in International School Manila had taken on a life of their own and now were claiming the field as their own independent country.) They stopped at the center of the field, giggling and laughing. "Okay," Devika giggled. "We're here. Now what?" John Michael's smile turned to be a sad one. "Devika, I think this relationship is going nowhere." "What? What? How do you mean?" she asked, troubled. "Us! Us, we are going nowhere! Devika, I can't be tied down." "You're not! You're standing up!" "Devika, this is not the life for me!" He threw up his hands. "I want to live, Devika! Won't you let me live! I want to see the world! I want to travel!" "Gosh sake, J.M., you're only thirteen!" Devika exclaimed. He turned around and embraced her. "I'm sorry. I have to go." "Where?" Devika snapped. "Timbuktu?" He shrugged. "Why not Timbuktu? Or Fiji. Or Kiribati! Perhaps I could go to Tashkent." "J.M., you're in seventh grade," Devika pleaded. "Forget these delusions of grandeur." "But I can't!" he grinned. "I can't and it's coming true!" "What?" "My dad works in oil," he said. "He's going to be travelling around a lot." "And? you're going?" "My family goes wherever the job takes us!" he grinned. "What the hell are you grinning for?" Devika hollered. "Is it over?" "Yes? I'm afraid." "Well screw you!" Devika shrieked. She grabbed a live salmon from Kieran Ryan, who just happened to be conveniently passing by, and smacked her ex on the head with it. "Ouch!" "My salmon!!" "Screw your salmon!" And Devika hit Kieran with the salmon too. After the whole emotionally-draining ordeal, she skipped to her car and went home where they had roast salmon for a meal. Having nothing else to do at home, Devika switched on the TV. News 23 was on. The field of her school! Wow! Her school was on TV! But those darn flying soccer balls were disrupting the transmission. She hoped this wouldn't have to revert to a test pattern. "We are now live at a crime scene which has shockingly happened in a school. International School Manila, to be exact. Here we are now with a witness. Calm down, kid, calm down," said the reporter soothingly to the sniffeling, crying boy. "Just calm down and tell us what happened." The sobbing boy, coincidentally named Kieran, began to speak. "It's horrible! It's awful! *sob sob* I was just *sniff* walking through the field carrying my pet salmon Edward. Edward was so nice. We love going on our afternoon walks, my salmon and me. I was *sniff* I was *sniff sniff sniff* I was going to teach him how to fetch! All of the sudden *sob sob snort* all off the sudden? Oh, it's too horrible! I can't speak!" So he decided to blubber tears in front of the camera instead. The reporter sort of stepped away from Kieran's shaking form. "Well? I guess we'll talk to another witness then!" The camera switched to a close-up of John Michael's face. "He was just walking down the field with his salmon, when all of the sudden this? this? this homocidal maniac! Yeah! A homocidal maniac! A homocidal maniac? with a?. with a power saw! In a ski mask! Yeah, he jumped out of nowhere! He frightened Kieran and stole his salmon, that's what the homocidal maniac did! He grabbed the salmon and he hit me! See! Right over here!" The camera went to a close-up of what could be mistaken as an eggplant glued to his forehead. Back to the reporter. "Everybody knows perfectly well that hitting somebody with a live salmon is illegal and is punishable by a life sentence, or even a death penalty. Police are currently working on this case. As for the students of this fair school? well, after the colonization of their field with soccer balls, this could be the last straw! The students are horrified!" The screen switched to a close up of Colby Howard's horrified face. "I'm horrified!" "Students may be scarred for life!" Enter a close up of Rishi Miyata. "I may be scarred for life!" "Nobody knows what to do!" Appear the whole student body of middle school. "We don't know what to do!" Click. For some reason, Zac, Asti's imaginary friend was still living, alive, well, and pretty much real. In fact, he was on MTV and singing a song he composed when Asti had gone into the bathroom to check her hair. "Suuuuperrrrfiiiiicial, you are, suuuuperrrfiiiiiicial!" Click. Switching to Discovery Channel, Devika discovered that a do-it-yourself show of modern electronics was showing. "And so you put this thingamajig into this thingamabob and twist like so. This little thingy is only necessary when the thingamajigger shorts out and therefore will work together with the thingamabob." Click. Ahhh! This was perfect! This? a test pattern! See all the glowing colors! Fuschia! Aqua! White! Black! Of course, one gets bored looking at squares of color for a long time, so Devika just decided to throw the whole darn thing out the window. "Ow!" shouted a random eighth-grader. "You freak!" "Devika!" shouted Mrs. Bhushan running into the den. "Devika, we have a problem! A big problem!" "Hunh?" "Your sister has been kidnapped and taken to Hong Kong!" shrieked her mother. "Oh cruel world!" Devika resisted the urge to stand up and dance around the room in ecstatic victory. "Your father is on a mission to Kackickackenockia! He cannot help her! I have to go to my yoga class, so I cannot help her either! Only you can save her! You, Devika, and only you can save your sister! Here are the tickets to Hong Kong!" "First-class?" Devika inquired, taking them from her mother's hand. "Yes! Of course! Now go!" "But I have to pack!" "How can you think of clothes when your darling sister has been kidnapped!" "I can think of five hundred twenty four different answers for that question." "Go! Go now! To the Ninoy Aquino airport, Devika! And step on it!" Obeying her duty, Devika walked out the door, ticket in hand, without a suitcase. She walked out the gate. Five minutes later, she came back. "I can't go abroad without my suitcase!" she declared. Ten minutes later, she came out with a stuffed duffel bag. She hailed a taxi and went to NAIA. On the plane, Devika didn't think of her sister. Her sister was fine. The way the kidnappers treat her sister must be better than how she treats her sister. Right now, she was just going to sit back and relax and enjoy the brandy. Brandy? Devika sprayed the drink out of her mouth. "I don't drink alcohol!" The stewardess, very pissed that this girl had sprayed backwash on her uniform, opened the air lock and tossed Devika out. Devika only had one thing to say about this. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" And etcetera, etcetera, etcetera? Is this the end of our fearless heroine? Will she be doomed to drop through the air like a waffle and splat on the ground? Will her sister be doomed to be treated better forever? Does anyone care? Of course nobody cares. Why would they? Nobody's liking this story. Which is why this story continues! Devika plummeted to the ground, screaming bloody murder. Why not? Nobody likes falling through the air like a waffle, a pancake, or any other kind of breakfast foods. "I shouldn't worry," Devika said, trying to relax as she fell through the air. "The Author wouldn't kill me. I'm the main character. She wouldn't let me die." She felt the wind rush past her at impossible speeds. "Who kills their main characters?" Devika asked with a smile. "I'm confident that I'll make through this alive! There's only one person I know who kills their main characters with such vivid descriptions. The wind toyed with her hair and nearly froze her with the sheer coldness. Her lips were beginning to turn blue. Perhaps she might turn into an ice-cube before splashing into the ocean. "And that person is? Asti." Devika's smile disappeared. "And Asti is the Author of this? OH HOLY CRAP!!!!" With this newfound terror, Devika continued plummeting onwards. Down down down to the deep deep blue? "SAVE ME!" She cannot possibly survive the impact when she hits the water. She'll die instantly or get one heck of a concussion. Perhaps paralyzed for life. "Asti, you do NOT want to DO THIS!" The author ignores her please for help and added more wind to the scene. Wind, perhaps blowing to the east. They always look dramatic with their hair blowing east. Maybe less air on the upthrust. "ASTIIII!!!" Plunging through the sky, slicing through the clouds, this was Devika, Falling Girl Extraordinaire. "I'll use your ICQ and message Alex asking if he likes you!!!!" she threatened. Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a? wait a minute. What did she say? The Author pauses to read the last paragraph. Reacting quickly, a magic flying unicorn appeared and took Devika on its back. "Phew," Devika said. "I am a magic flying unicorn," said the equus-type being in a Scandinavian accent. "Vat are you?" "I am Devika, and I need to get to Hong Kong!" said Devika with conviction. "Ja, that's good," said the unicorn, soaring through the air. "But? vat are you villing to pay me?" "Money? Flying fantasy figments like you demand money?" The unicorn dropped the accent in irritation. "Hey, sister, it's not everyday that you see a 'My Little Pony' incarnate with the magic horn. Shut your trap and give me the dough, will you? Or I could just drop you in the ocean." Sighing in defeat, Devika was forced to give up the 76.25 pesos she had. "And it's a Hong Kong-ing we shall gooooooo!" exclaimed the jittery horned pony. Devika was glad she held on, because the little unicorn could race the light and only come out a few milliseconds behind. She was so dazed that when the unicorn dumped her right on top of Victoria Peak around six p.m., she just started wandering around. "Now what shall I do about my sister?" she wondered out loud, much to the discomfort of the people around her. "What shall I do for clothes? What shall I do for shelter and food? For I have no money." "Devika?" asked a familiar voice. "Is that you?" Surprised, she shrieked and turned 180� and found herself facing a long lost loved. Maybe he had learned to get a better hair cut, maybe now he wears something else other than his basketball jersey, maybe now he suddenly had a growth spurt, but it was still the same person. This was Jordan, Jordan Bloem. "Jordan!" she exclaimed. "Jordan Bloem!" "Did it hurt when you fell" he asked. Devika grinned. She thought he was going to go for that old pick-up line: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? 'Cause I swear you're an angel. What he really said was this: "Did it hurt when you fell off that ridiculous flying unicorn? I mean, you landed on your bum" "I'm fine," she smiled. "Perfectly fine." An explosion! Well, not a real loud explosion. But it's as if the dam's bursting. A dam. A dam of feelings. A cascading waterfall from the heart. That that has been kept hidden for so long now had to breathe. Jordan? and Devika? "JORDAN!" "DEVIKA!" In slow motion with music playing in the background, they ran towards each other before a sunset (remember it's six p.m.). Embracing each other as they met, they cried tears of joy. Jordan had loved Devika. Devika had loved Jordan. Alas, they never knew then. They knew now and they were filled with a joy. The feeling that a mistake in the past could be erased and started anew on a blank slate. Love is there, and where there is love, there is truth. They know the truth, for truth is love, and love is truth. Basking in the realization that their love for each other was true, they looked at each other in the eye and? "Joooordaaaaan! How many times have I told you not to go around and hug strange girls?" shouted Mrs. Bloem. "Only three thousand four hundred and twenty seven times, Mom," he called out. "Then what are you doing with her?" "Faint," he whispered into Devika's ear. "Pretend you're unconscious." She did. Jordan, being such a stick, stagerred from the weight. "Mom, this girl's uncoscious," he said. "I know where she lives though, because I've been through her wallet! Can I escort her back home because she's out cold right now! In fact, she looks a bit disoriented." "Of course you can! Go do a good deed, son," said Mr. Bloem. "Take that young lady home." "Yessir!" As Jordan staggered away with the weight of his newfound love in his arms, nobody heard the bangings coming from the Bloem's car trunk. Bang! Bang! Bang! "Mmmmpppphhhhh!!!!" Bang! Bang! "Mpphhhmhphmphmpmmmphphh!" Little does she know it, or Jordan either, that the Bloems are the ones who kidnapped her sister? When you're at someplace like Victoria Peak, it's easy to find a point that overlooks the whole city. Basically, those points are everywhere. Jordan and Devika only had to walk a couple of hundred meters until they felt it was safe enough away from popcorn before they walked off the road, through the trees, and sat side by side overlooking Hong Kong at twilight. (The sun just set, remember?) "Devika?" Jordan asked "Hhmmm?" "Do you know what happened back there? I mean, we just saw each other, went nuts, and tried to kiss each other. What was that?" "I don't know," she shrugged. "I'm clueless about that one too." The author threw up her hands and said (so the characters wouldn't hear), "Oh for Heaven's sake! Don't you guys read?!" Thinking quickly, she took an image of Allison, dressed her up in a toga, put a laurel wreath in her hair, a harp in her arm, and popped her in the story. Needless to say, the two were very much surprised when a floating girl appeared poof out of nowhere and was now hanging suspended from midair in front of them. "Who are you?!" Jordan exclaimed, pretty much speaking for everybody both character and reader. "I am Alli- uh, I'm? I'm? the Roman goddess of love!" she proclaimed. "I am Aphrodite." "Aphrodite is the Greek goddess of love," Devika pointed out. "That's what I meant," said the hanging girl. "That you're Greek goddess of love?" asked Jordan. "Oh for Pete's sake!" the toga-clad girl cried, throwing up her arms. "I'm just a goddess of love, okay? No civilization required here." "And what do you want?" Devika asked cynically.